i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
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