So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
smell my finger.
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize
