i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
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