I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
So I just walked in on one of our neighbors having sex...on our couch.
WHAT?!
He apologized for staining our couch, then asked if he could make me a drink. Pretty sure he was still inside her while we were talking.
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Randomize
