marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
Randomize