no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
You have to summon your inner elephant
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Randomize
