just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
it hurts more in the daytime
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
Randomize
