Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
