we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
