my mouth tastes like poor choices
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Randomize
