You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
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