who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Randomize
