I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
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