You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
I need to stop coming to work sober
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
Randomize
