i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
Randomize
