I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Randomize
