I smell stomach acid.
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
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