Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
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