Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
we're so committed to being not committed
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
Randomize
