...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
I have already put on my inside pants.
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Randomize
