just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
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