No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
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