Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Randomize