She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
The air taste purple.
Randomize
