that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
Randomize
