I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
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