That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
