I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
Randomize
