Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
