I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize