Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
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