I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize
