What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
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