I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
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