her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
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