I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
