There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
Randomize
