i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
Randomize
