You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
Randomize
