a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
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