Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
Randomize
