dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
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