just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
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