There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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