Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
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