first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
