no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
Randomize
