I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
Randomize
