I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
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