remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
Life without a bra equals bliss.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
