sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
