wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize
