that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
My boob is missing a layer of skin
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
Randomize
