you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
Randomize
