That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
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i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
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It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize