Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Randomize
