It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
Randomize
