i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
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